Men, Men, Men

Just as Andrew Sullivan was coming over to the side of goodness and light, he sees the macho performance of the hairy and manly real men of the GOP last night and hurries back into his rightful place as their favorite gay mascot who shall be explicitly denied his rights under the US Constitution. Some things are even more primal than the desire to marry and settle down, I guess.

I can't say that I'm surprised. Bush worship --- in the George W. sense, anyway --- is very hard to shake. I think you have to hire one of those deprogrammers.

What's more upsetting, though is that Michael Bérubé, bleeding heart liberal professor hockey playing Bush hater, was taken in as well. If they've got Bérubé, I'm afraid it's all over:

And then McCain. What is there to say about McCain? McCain is McCain. The quintessential maverick, quintessentially mavericking all those other sucker-quintessential pseudo-mavericks who try to bring that weak shit to the hole. When he called Michael Moore a "disingenuous filmmaker," I realized that my own piddling critiques of Moore were so much dust in the wind. As McCain explained in his post-game interview with CNBC, Michael Moore's film suggested that Iraq under Saddam was some kind of Biblical paradise, and that's so wrong it's just . . . just . . . disingenuous, is what it is. Isn't it weird that Democrats won't say anything bad about Saddam? Rock on, John. The disingenuous must die!! Die, disingenuous Democrats, die!!

And then, listening to the testimonies and watching the montages after McCain's speech, I began to think about my own prejudices as a liberal-left blogger. Seriously, the last time I had a substantial debate with one of my liberal-leftist colleagues about the Bush presidency, it was at an American Studies panel at Tiny Elite Liberal University titled, "Republicans-- Do They Merely Give Voice to the Vilest Elements of American Society, or Are They Themselves the Vilest Elements of American Society?" At the time, I argued strenuously in favor of either the former or latter position, but now that I've finally seen some actual Republicans up close on TV, I've had to reconsider. These people really seem very nice, once you get to meet them. They're not wild-eyed ideologues-- they're just ordinary folks, sitting there in Madison Square Garden, trying to have a good time. They're as sensible as you or your grandmother, and all they want is for people to love one another, inclusively, in a big tent that is inclusive. They love their country, and you should too.

And then . . . Rudy G.


Read on if you dare. Rudy G is more than just a manly man filled with macho manliness and male machismo. He's the man.

But hold on to your codpieces, fellas. The Terminator, a man so masculine he isn't even human, is on deck. It's a manly night to end all manly nights. I sense you'd better have cigarettes and tequila at the ready --- and tell the women folk to put on something frilly and make a few sandwiches. GOP don't need no silver star. They've got a movie star, mothafuckah!